


The Lost One

by blhoundjr



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, M/M, Modern Character in Thedas, Other, Self-Insert, The Forgotten Ones - Freeform, dragons baby, micah has some issues, nonbinary characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blhoundjr/pseuds/blhoundjr
Summary: Micah Mau is a normal kid who falls, quite literally, into the world of Thedas. They find themself at the whim of a disembodied voice who has made them a deal they can't refuse if they wish to return to their own world.





	1. Newcomer

The darkness is overwhelming. It’s so dark that for a moment you believe that you’ve gone blind──had it not been for the sudden sparks of greenish light that plague your vision. You squeeze your eyes shut and open them once more to be greeted by the same sight, flashes from above obscured by muddy brown clouds.

“Where...?” 

Your voice sounds so small, distorted by the storm and turbulent winds. You rub the back of your hand against your eyes, groggy and confused. It’s then that you realize you’re on your back, nearly soaked to the bone in rain. 

You shoot up to a seated position, wiping your drenched face with hands that feel like they’re coated in dirt and mud. Your hair sticks to your forehead and cheeks, and your clothing, which include a hoodie and shorts, also cling to your form. You’re exposed, grimy and practically freezing, so you rub your arms in a futile attempt for a bit of warmth. Your feet feel like they’re about to fall off from the cold and there’s little you can do about it. Standing slowly, you blink a few times trying to ascertain your surroundings. 

“Where the fu─” 

You don’t get a chance to collect yourself as a thunderous boom echoes around you, a flash of green blinding you for a moment as a bolt strikes nearby. “Holy shit!” You scramble backwards, arms outstretched trying to feel for anything to get your bearings, to no avail. Another bolt strikes near your feet, then another, and another, and you’re left sprinting in the opposite direction. You wince at the wet, rough terrain beneath your feet, but luckily, the adrenaline coursing through you mitigates the pain.

And suddenly you’re falling. A hole? A cliff? You had no idea, and honestly, you were too busy screaming to think about it, flailing like a fish out of water as you plummet to your death in darkness. 

But you stop, frozen midair, your heart pounding loudly in your ears as you breath frantically, fear and panic overwhelming your senses. You’re floating, the rain continuing to pour around you, and looking down, you have no idea how far you are in relation to the ground. You’re floating in a sea of shadows, the flashes from above now so distant. And you shiver as you hear a deep rumble of laughter that seems to emanate from every direction. 

A voice suddenly speaks to you in a language you do not know, and you can hear the impatience in it’s voice as it grows louder and louder, repeating it’s strange words to you. This had to be a dream, a lucid dream? 

“What do you want!?” You manage to choke out, squeezing your eyes shut as you float helplessly, hoping that at any moment you would awaken in your bed safe and sound. You could have sworn it made an exasperated sigh. The air around you stirs. 

_“Do you understand me now, child?”_

The words are still strange, but somehow, you understand. You open your eyes slowly, hoping to see the same darkness, but are greeted by a looming shadow and two enormous, glowing yellow eyes. A flash of lightning illuminates the form for but a moment, but it’s enough. A dragon──far larger than yourself, it’s form long and lanky, coiling around the empty air like a snake. It’s snout was at least 4 times your size, hot air escaping it’s nostrils, enveloping you in temporary warmth. 

You can only gawk in a mixture of awe and fear, slowly nodding your head, unable to find your words. It hums, glowing orbs narrowing on your minuscule form, and you’re afraid that it will take you out in one bite. _“If you wish to escape the Abyss, kill the Wolf. Do this and you shall be freed.”_ It growls these words louder than the storm, the air vibrating from the sheer intensity of it’s voice. 

And what could you do? Floating there drenched and terrified, you nod once more in hopes of waking from this nightmare. It’s eyes seem to glow brighter at this, another puff of hot air leaving it’s nostrils. 

_“Say it and I shall release you.”_

You inhale sharply, squeezing your eyes shut. What have you got to lose? It’s just a dream. “I’ll do whatever you want, just let me go!” 

And you lose consciousness. 

How much time had passed? Your mind flutters to and from consciousness. You feel yourself falling again, but is it really you? _Or someone else?_ The wind rushes past you; it’s difficult to keep your eyes open, a wave of exhaustion overcoming your mind. Had you fallen down the pit?

Or is this another dream? In the haze, you manage to see the sky; blue, with a strange green light swirling into the dark clouds like a vortex. Could it be the same dream? You try to focus on anything, but everything is moving so quickly that you feel nauseous. 

_“Wake up child or you will die.”_

That’s not your voice. It’s familiar, but not as loud nor as _threatening_ as you remember. It’s coming from....your head? 

But you listen, your eyes snapping wide open, the realization hitting you that your moments away from hitting white ground. A scream is lodged in your throat──there was nothing you could possibly do to cushion the fall, and your life flashes before your eyes.

_“You are a **dragon**. Breathe. Compose yourself.”_

You only have a few seconds to recollect yourself and inhale sharply. You’re not entirely sure how that _encouragement_ was suppose to help you from your impending doom, but you take in the icy cold air, filling your lungs to the point of pain. 

_I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die!_ You think desperately. You shield your head with your arms as your vision fills with white, and you are certain you have just died in your own dream. But the chill in the air says otherwise. The sensation is familiar and you are very aware you are floating again, face mere inches from meeting death. You're floating upside down, your hair and hood hanging down.

“H-holy shit!” A string of curses of both awe and relief escape you as you place your hands into the cold snow, now in a handstand as you try and figure out how to bring gravity back into your body. You float upside down for a solid minute, trying to kick your legs downwards, to no avail. So many things had occurred in such a short time span that your brain is having difficulty keeping up.

_“You truly are a child. Simply ground yourself. Will it.”_

That snarky voice fills your mind again. Your face had reddened from the blood rushing to your head. You click your tongue in annoyance, grumbling quietly, grasping at the snow with pink fingers. “Ground yourself it says, _will it_ it says, yeah okay, maybe I’ll just──” Suddenly your body regains it’s weight, causing you to collapse into the snow with a loud thump, buried in a good foot of snow. With a yelp, you shoot up to your feet, shaking your head and arms to get the snow off of you. If you weren’t going to die from falling to your death, you were definitely going to die of hypothermia. 

“What the fuck is happening!?” You shout out at the open sky, no one to hear your frustrated cries. Other than the disembodied voice of course. 

_“Are you finished?”_

You whip around quickly, then back again. Yes, it was just you here. Surrounded by mountains and mountains of snow. _I’m losing my god damn mind._

 _“Yes, yes, throw a tantrum.”_ There’s an exasperated sigh. _“At least warm yourself before you succumb to the elements. But of course, feel free to continue by all means.”  
_

You grimace, mildly offended at the audacity of this invisible prick. Was it your conscious? Hopefully not. “With what, huh? There’s snow everywhere!” You gesture wildly at your surroundings, then towards yourself. “Look at me─I don’t even have any shoes on!” 

_“Warm yourself, fool! Do you not understand how to use magic?”_

“Ugh, what are you even talking about!?” You throws your hands up in the air in defeat, clenching your firsts tight as anxiety and stress begin to overwhelm your senses. “This is bullshit!” 

You scream your heart out in hopes of anyone hearing, but the only one who responds is the voice. 

_“Enough! Head my words unless you wish to perish!”_

After a solid minute of uninterrupted screaming, you collapse backwards throat dry and scratchy, and decide that all hope was lost. At this point, dying didn’t sound half bad. Dramatic? Perhaps──but considering the circumstances.....

It sighs. _“Just sit there quietly and listen.”_

You do, grudgingly of course, and stare up at the sky in exhaustion.

_“Imagine a flame. Imagine the heat it emits, the warmth it would bring to you at this moment.”_

Oddly, a sense of calm washes over you. Perhaps it was because the voice decided to change it’s tone───it was definitely because it changed it’s tone. Your eyes flutter shut. You picture a large open flame, your hands reaching towards it, the warmth tickling your fingers as it clings to you. It’s hot, but there’s no pain. Your breathing slows.

_“Good. Think only of the warmth, does it not bring you comfort? You **are** warm, you **are** safe.”_

It was as if you were no longer lying in snow, the biting cold had vanished entirely. Your entire body practically flushes with an unknown warmth, and you open your eyes once more. The surroundings hadn’t changed one bit, your fingers grasp a handful of snow──it’s cool, like damp sand at a beach, but not at all cold. 

“I don’t....” Your brows furrow, as you turn your head to one side. It just looksl ike normal snow, still white all around──how strange. 

You sit up, brushing it off of you and check your hands and feet. They’re no longer pink from the bite of the cold having returned to their usual tan color. You wiggle your toes, and much to your relief, they're no longer numb.

_“Now was that so difficult?”_

You scratch your head in confusion, trying to figure out what in the hell was going on. You pat the ground to confirm that the snow was in fact not cold. “I have no idea what’s happening.”

_“You are but a lost lamb. You may yet survive with my assistance. How troublesome, I had hoped for a warrior.”_

Nodding absentmindedly, you get to your feet as you stare at your hands, just now noticing how the snow seems to melt against your skin. Strange. You look down and realize the snow at your feet also seemed to be melting quickly, slowly turning to slush before your eyes.

“Uh...is that suppose to happen?”

_“If you do not want it to melt, then do not allow it to.”_

You sniff in consideration as you crouch over to grab a handful of snow, holding it close for inspection. _Don’t melt....I guess?_ You think to yourself quietly, and you just stare. Sure enough, the snow retains it’s solid form without issue. 

“Hm...” You have some doubt. _Ok, melt now?_

It becomes a puddle in your hands in mere seconds, and your brows practically shoot off your face, mouth agape in amazement. 

“Holy shit! I did that?” 

_“Yes.”_

“ **I** did that!”

_“Yes you did.”_

“Holy shit!” 

There’s a pause as you look at your hands in awe, and a few moments of silence pass.

_“Hm, I have doubts you will be able to kill the Wolf in your state.”_

Your lips turn to a thin line as you wring your hands together nervously. “Wait, like you really want me to kill a wolf?”

_“Not just **a** wolf, **the** Wolf──Fen’Harel. I’ve kept my side of the deal, now you must keep yours.”_

You shake your head, crossing your arms in disbelief. “Hold up, hold up──I’ve never even killed anything before! Like....I stepped on a ladybug once and cried! I thought all this was just some fucked up dream!”

It sighs irritably. _“That remains to be seen. Then you shall simply lend me your body.”_

“I’m sorry what.”

_“You will lend me your body.”_

You shift from foot to foot, stumbling over your words for a moment at the highly unusual demand. “I don’t um──no thank you?” 

_“So **you** will kill the Wolf?”_ You can practically taste it’s frustration.

“N-no?” 

_“For the love of──I well send you back to the Abyss!”_

You begin to walk in circles as you argue with the disembodied voice. Waking up in a dark, gross place that was probably hell with a giant talking dragon? Okay. Falling from the sky and floating like Peter Pan? Alright. Becoming a human heater? Kinda cool to be honest. But you drew the line at bodily possession evidently. 

“Okay listen, maybe we should like...get to know each other first before we jump straight to....ya know? Um──I’m Micah.” You gesture to yourself, forgetting for a moment that no one else was actually here. “And you are?” 

There’s a pregnant pause. 

_“I am Geldauran.”_

You nod noncommittally. Strange name, but everything was just plain weird at this point.

“So Gel....Geldor─uh, Geldoren?”

_“Geldauran.”_

“Yeah, Geldauran...so like....where are you exactly? And why can I hear you? Am I dead? Is this like heaven or──was I doing magic stuff earlier? How──”

There is an exasperated sigh. _“Just....walk towards the storm, and we shall speak.”_

So you turn to the horizon, the mass of green clouds swirling in the distance not at all difficult to see. Rubbing your hands together to hype yourself up, you pull up your hood and set off on your journey into the unknown with your unwelcome passenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told in second person so I don't confuse myself. Haven't thought of a pairing yet, but I have a few ideas. Hopefully DA4 doesn't dive too much into the Forgotten Ones because I've claimed it ahgkjlsgd. Also Micah is just a totally normal kid with like social anxiety. They are neither the villain or hero of this story.


	2. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't going as planned.

“So can all elves turn into dragons? That’s so cool!”

An amused chuckle. _“Hah! Of course not! Mythal could of course, but her children could only dream of it. My brethren and I were forged from the flames of the first dragons to walk the earth, so it was mere child’s play for us. We were──we **are** , the most magnificent and powerful beings to ever exist. They were intimidated by our prowess, unsurprisingly.”_

The past few hours during your trek included Geldauran rambling on about his life and....that was it really. He's an elf apparently──or **was** an elf. Or a dragon that could turn into an elf? Or an elf that could turn into a dragon? He’s made it very clear that he was a dragon above all else. As it stands, he became a spirit and was just....hanging out in your body....or something. You were too afraid to dig any deeper than that in all honesty. Oh, and he also really **really** hates this Fen’Harel guy. Glad you're not that guy.

“So what do you look like? I’m guessing you got pointy ears?” You pause and furrow your brows, “I-Is that....is that offensive? I mean elves have pointy ears right?”

 _“My ears are indeed pointed. And I appear_ _as you do; but much larger and far more muscular. You are rather puny in comparison and──ah yes, not to mention my magnificent horns!”_ He cuts himself off with boisterous laughter, as if you would never be able to capture how spectacular his own image could be. 

You snort and shake your head in amusement. “So you have **horns**? Like...” You lift your hands up to either side of your head, pointing both index fingers upwards. “...like you can run into people with them?”

An affirmative grunt. _“But of course! What else would they be used for!”_ He guffaws, as if recalling some fond memories. His laughter was infectious and you can’t help but grin. Admittedly, the spirit wasn’t as bad as you had originally thought──despite his whole vengeance obsession and all.

“That’d be pretty neat. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if I had horns.” As cool as the thought was, you couldn’t imagine a scenario where having them back home would be useful. You definitely weren’t going to go around impaling people for fun. It would also be pretty difficult to get out of clothes.....and how would you even sleep with them? Pillows? Destroyed.

He hums. _“You are still young, there is time yet. Perhaps your ears will grow out as well.”_

You jump when something almost seems to trace the curve of your ear, and you quickly brush at it, in hopes it being nothing more than the wind. ~~But it was probably magic.~~

“Eh....I don’t think so. I’m just a plain ol’ human.” You sigh. Aside from being a human heater, you were just the average working man. 

A long pause.

_“What is a human?”_

“You for real?”

_“Of course I am real. That does not answer my question.”_

Maybe this world only had elves and dragons? What a twist. “I mean, a human is just _me_? We don’t have cool horns or awesome magic like you guys do. And our ears are round like this.” You tug the end of your ear for emphasis. 

_“Hm...how odd. But you are clearly a dragon, I can sense the fire in your soul.”_

You shrug. “I donno what tell you bro.”

_“.....and the way you speak is unusual.”_

“You’re one to talk.”

And you continue on, making slow progress towards the storm. Time felt like it was dragging on, but the darkening skies said otherwise. Your feet were becoming sore, and you were about ready to take a nap. Geldauran seemed to be able to sense this.

_“We must find somewhere to rest while there is still light.”_

He receives an exhausted grunt of acknowledgment. Glancing around, you don’t see much else other than snow and trees as far as the eye can see. The storm seemed as far as it was when you had begun your journey. You sigh.

“I really don’t wanna sleep out here....”

_“Agreed, you are far too weak to be sleeping out in the open. Easy prey.”_

“Yeah....exactly what I was thinking....”

You rub your heavy eyes and do another scan in hopes of seeing _anything._ You bite your lip, realizing the sun was setting, and the last thing you wanted was to be wandering around in the dark with who-knows-what kind of creatures lurking about. Your steps become sluggish. _I’m gonna die out here──I really don’t wanna die out here._

 _“Calm down, child. You shall not perish while I am here.”_ The spirit pauses in thought. _“You are akin to a newborn, but still a dragon nonetheless. We must move to the sky, if only to locate shelter for the night.”_

You stop in your tracks and hang your head in exasperation. “Come on──you know I don’t know how to do any dragon stuff right? I don’t even know how I made myself all hot!”

_"Do you trust me?”_

“To be honest....not really.” 

_“You are alive are you not? I have not given you reason to distrust me.”_

He had a point. You can only sigh as you nod begrudgingly. “Alright, alright. Let’s do this then.” You shake your limbs awake and slap your cheeks a few times. _I got this, I totally go this. What’s the worst that can happen?_

_“Just as we did before, relax. Imagine being as light as air. Let it lift you, become weightless. Will it to be so.”  
_

Your breathing slows as you compose yourself, eyes fluttering shut, mind slowly clearing of all doubt in an instant──as if entranced. A moment passes, then another. Nothing happens.

_“Patience. Breathe.”_

And soon enough, your feet leave the ground, your form levitating upward gently. Cool winds rush beneath you, as if lifting you up into the air, pulling you up higher and higher. You swallow nervously, finally opening your eyes and inhale sharply. Geldauran tuts, reminding you to keep calm. Your heart pounds against your chest.

 _Don’t look down, don’t look down_. 

You take a steady breath and scan the area, focusing as best you can. It was oddly....serene. The sky was beautiful oranges and yellows──picture perfect like a landscape. The dirty green clouds of the distant storm were as prominent as ever, but the everything below remained untouched and peaceful; pure white snow going on for miles. There were mountains clustered around the center of the storm; you couldn’t tell what lied beyond. 

_Gotta find shelter, gotta find shelter, focus._ Squinting, you do one more scan to ensure you hadn’t missed anything. Under a canopy of trees, you manage to spot what looked like a small building.

“Over there! I think I see a cabin!” You exclaim joyously throwing your hands up in victory. Your body shifts awkwardly at the motion, and your hands instinctively shoot out as if trying to balance yourself. 

_“Good, now go before the light vanishes.”_

“I donno if I’ll be able to make the walk before the sun sets.”

_“We are already in the air, fly.”  
_

You swallow. “Um....just floating is hard enough as it is, and I kinda have this _thing_ with heights──” You make the mistake of looking straight down, and your stomach drops. A sense of vertigo washes over you──you fall.

 _“Breathe! Concentrate!”_ You can hear his shouts over the pounding in your ears, but you feel nauseous and lightheaded. Your eyes flutter as the world spun around you. The warmth leaves your body and you become aware of the biting chill of the rushing air. You go limp, breaking out into a cold sweat.

 _“Micah, listen to my voice!”_ You don’t respond──you can’t respond.

The last thing you feel is scorching heat before the world goes black. 

* * *

Something wasn’t right, but you weren’t sure what exactly. 

You were awake....weren’t you?

The world was moving, rushing past you in a blur. You can feel the wind, you see the clouds and you realize the storm was almost upon you. Everything seemed....foggy.....confusing. It was like trying to stay awake after being sedated. It was a daze. Ah that’s right, you were trying to fly earlier weren’t you? What happened?

There’s a deep growl rumbling in _your_ chest──that definitely didn’t sound like you.

You try to blink, to move, to open your mouth, but you have no control. You were a passenger in your own body...could it be Geldauran?

You’re soaring faster than you could ever imagine, but you can hear shouts and screams below you. A battle? You’re not sure; you can’t look down. Your vision is focused on what looks like some sort of stone structure. A building? Ruins maybe? There’s a bright, green light glowing just past it; the same color as the storm.

You land high a top a jagged rock that was jutting out from the earth. The realization dawns on you──this body wasn’t yours. It was a creature's, large and looming....a dragon. Was this _his_ body?

A roar, louder than thunder, pierces through the sky and you feel a burning sensation build within you, slowly traveling upwards to your throat. You can feel steam leaking through your pores, the air around you growing hotter and hotter. Your head turns downward, eyes focused on a group of people, specifically a man. Fen'Harel? 

_Wait, what are you doing?_

“Maker’s breath! Dragon!”

Bright blue flames emerge, the heat causing the air around you to almost sizzle. You desperately try to look away, but can’t. You can’t do anything. 

_Geldauran?_

“Quickly, you must close the breach! We will distract it! Hurry!”

You can hear the screams of burning victims beneath you, the flames spreading rapidly across the ground, enveloping everything in it's path. And you are powerless to stop it. You taste the blood lust, the unadulterated rage, coursing through your veins. This is _his_ fury.

_Stop──you’re killing them!_

Was he ignoring you? 

You can see now, the charred corpses littered across the stones, the fire never ending. Soldiers run desperately to safety as others bark orders. Arrows fly from all directions only to be turned to ash in seconds. Smoke, blood and flesh fills your senses. You feel sick. 

Suddenly there’s an explosion of green light. You scream in agony, pained roars filling the air. It felt like something was tearing at your skin, peeling away at you bit by bit. Lightning seers through your veins, and you can feel Geldauran clawing at your mind as if losing control.

You lose consciousness. 

* * *

Something cold touches your forehead, jolting you awake. You wince as a wave of pain shoots through your entire body and you groan, eyes squeezing shut. “Agh, shit──”

“Careful now, try not to move,” a voice chastises. You open your eyes slowly, tensing as the pain seems to amplify ten fold and you choke on your own breath. There’s a woman leaning over you, towel in hand as she wipes the sweat from your brow gingerly. 

“You were injured during the battle, you were lucky to escape with your life,” she gives you a warm smile as she examines you. Was she a nun? Her ears were round so humans definitely existed, thankfully. You were both freezing and burning up all at once, and it felt like someone had poured acid all over you. Slowly, you lift up a shaky, bandaged hand and notice how your skin seems almost....burnt. 

“Dragon fire,” the woman states, as if that were ample explanation. 

You manage a small nod, “R-Right, makes sense...”

She pats your shoulder as she rises. “Rest for now, we are safe. The Herald will protect us.” And she leaves before you can question her.

_Fuck──what the fuck is happening?_

You can feel your heart race, the confusion and anxiety slowly settling in. Your eyes dart around, trying to figure out where you were. A tent? You couldn’t really turn your head without the pain slapping you in the face, but you could hear the murmurs of other people nearby. More injured? Was it...because of you? No it wasn't you, it was his fault, not yours. Right?

_Geldauran! Hey!_

No response.

_Don’t ignore me! Seriously, what the fuck!_

Silence.

You bite your lip, filled with worry, every worst case scenario filling your thoughts. Your head begins to hurt as the pressure begins to weigh down on you. 

_Where are you?_

_Are you coming back?_

_What am I suppose to do?_

_What if they kill me?_

_Don’t leave me alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the first 2 chapters are kinda slow. Mostly set up. But next chapter we get to meet everyone! :D  
> Also anything in italics are internal thoughts; everything Geldauran says is technically internal too. Thought it might help separate the dialogue.  
> This is what Micah looks like; they got a lil ponytail.  
> 


	3. Safe Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the FUCK is Geldauran?

You had never felt pain like this before. Sure you had gotten into a few fights as a kid, but little fists were completely harmless. It was like being slapped and stabbed by a hot iron constantly──there really was no proper way to describe it. 

It was absolutely excruciating. 

The pain was mostly in your upper body. Bandages were wrapped around your neck, left shoulder and nearly the entirety of your chest. Your hands were gingerly wrapped, and you were glad for it; you definitely didn't want to see whatever damage had been done. Your head was pounding, and you're not quite sure if it's because of stress or if you hit your head; probably both. Had you been in a better state of mind, you would have noticed that you were almost completely undressed, aside from your shorts. You were currently sitting up, knees pulled to your chest, a blanket wrapped around you tight. It's _freezing_ in here. 

You'd been sitting there for maybe an hour, thoughts racing rampantly. For one, where was Geldauran? Did he really go off on a rampage and dump your ass here? Did he even kill Fen'Harel? Why were you injured? _You_ were technically the dragon...so why did you take damage? And was that really you? Was he able to change your body with magic or something? Nothing made sense! 

The cold wasn't doing anything to help calm you down, and you tried numerous times to warm yourself up, to no avail. Geldauran was definitely wrong about you having magic; it must've been his all along. You huff angrily, brows furrowed. 

The commotion outside doesn't seem to die down, and doesn't seem like it will anytime soon. You were hoping to get the hell out once it quieted down, but so much for that plan. You rub your eyes wearily and decide that this was enough sitting around. Luckily, whoever was taking care of you didn't toss out your hoodie, as it was folded neatly beside you. Lifting it up with sore fingers, you realize that it's completely undamaged and in far better shape than you were. _Yup, makes sense....fucking magic bullshit....._

Carefully, you drop your blanket and slowly pull the sleeves over your arms, wincing as the fabric rubs against your tender skin. "Ow, ow──shit!" You stop midway, both arms in either sleeve and take a breath to steady yourself. You have half a mind to just walk out shirtless at this point, but the cold has you considering otherwise. _Gotta go fast, that'll work._ And you do just that, rapidly pushing yourself through the hoodie. And feel immediate regret as what feels like a thousand knives strike you at once.

You groan loudly, eyes tearing up a bit as you tense up in place, desperately waiting for the wave of pain to pass. _This fucking sucks._

After a few minutes, the pain seems to lessen, though still very present. You get to your feet, still bare, and take the blanket with you, wrapping it around your shoulders like a cloak. Now at full height, you realize just how many people were stuffed into this one tent. While relatively large, it was almost....disgusting to see all these bodies cramped in one area. It was practically medieval. Shaking your head, you move on, guilt clawing at you the longer you stick around. 

Poking your head through the front flap, you are welcomed by the sight of people: elves, humans.....dwarves? It was honestly a bit refreshing considering you've been traveling alone; seeing people for a change brought you some relief, but also made you a bit anxious. How long had it been? A day? Two days? It felt like an eternity. It was absolutely hectic out there, people rushing to and fro as if their lives depended on it. Looking up, you realize that storm wasn't as bright as it was──or the breach or whatever they called it. Still green and weird up there. 

Stepping out, you yelp as your feet touch snow, immediately shuffling backwards. This would've been a fantastic time to use that heating magic, but of course it decides not to work when _you_ want to use it. 

"Don't go walking out in the snow bare foot, fool!" Someone yells, shoving large boots into your arms. You don't even catch who it was as they rush into another nearby tent──you barely process it as you freeze, the pain pulsating in your chest.

"Thanks...." You groan, gracefully dropping the boots to the ground and carefully placing your feet in them.

They were far larger than your own feet...and felt dirty. Whose boots were these? _Oh my god, please don't be dead people boots I'm gonna──_ you inhale, then exhale. _Don't think about it. Juuuuust don't think about it._

Pulling the blanket tighter, you walk out a few feet and look around nervously, unsure of where to head first. People brush by quickly, all too busy with their own errands and you don't plan on getting in their way. Especially don't want to bring any unnecessary attention to yourself. You take a few more tentative steps, careful to avoid bumping into others when you feel a chill up your spine. Someone's watching you. 

_No one's looking at me, no one's looking at me. I'm totally invisible,_ you try to reassure yourself. You try and spot the source of your anxiety, and lock eyes with him. You're blood runs cold. It's Fen'Harel, it has to be. He's tall, compared to the other elves, bald and was just....staring at you, eyes full of judgement like he _knows_ who you are. 

_He doesn't know me, don't freak out. Be cool, be chill._

You look like a deer caught in headlights and after a solid second, shake yourself out of your stupor──not suspicious at all. Quickly, you shuffle away in a random direction in hopes of losing him. _The fuck did you get me into Geldauran? Shit!_

There were a lot of people in town so blending in wouldn't be too difficult. Your anxiety is off the charts at this point, and your breathing quickens as you try and find somewhere to lay low. _Wow dumbass, you should've just went back inside the tent._ You shake your head in irritation, realizing the simple solution to this and turn around; it's then you realize you have no idea how to get back. _Perfect, just perfect. Great job Micah! Guess you need a spirit to babysit you after all!_ You stand there wide eyed like a lost puppy as you try to remember which way to go. 

"You seem lost."

_Oh shit, oh fuck._

You take a breath to compose yourself and pray you don't look too suspicious──you definitely looked suspicious. You turn and have to look up to make eye contact. Oh boy, he's tall. Or he's just standing really close. 

"Um....yeah? I guess I am?" Nervous laughter escapes your lips and you mentally berate yourself. That's not helping your case.

His face is calm, but his grey eyes are cold and dark. He gives you a once over, analyzing you carefully. You notice his gaze lingers on your ears for a moment, before moving elsewhere. _He totally suspects something. Geldauran where are you when I need you!?_

His voice is low as he speaks. You only realize then that everyone else you've walked by were speaking in English. He was speaking Elvish? Like Geldauran. Thankfully, you can still understand what he's saying....but he probably doesn't know that...or he does...

"Who are you, and why are you here?" He asks looking down at you as if you were nothing more than a worm. He has a firm grip on his staff, and you worry for a moment he might bash you over the head with it──actually, you wouldn't mind. Just end it already, you swear you could cut the tension with a knife.

You stare at him blankly, brows furrowed as you feign innocence. "Er──what are you saying?" You jump at his tone.

"Don't play coy with me. I recognize _your_ kind." He steps forward, and you step back. You swallow, lips pulled to a thin line. "Now answer me."

You put your hands up in front of you defensively, "Hey man, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just gonna...go...." And you awkwardly sidestep him to make a break for it, but he grabs your wrist, clenching tight. You wince, your heart is pounding in your ears. 

You're afraid to look at him and try to tug your hand away, but his grip is like a vice. _Thanks Geldauran, I'm about to get killed by a bald elf. Thanks for that, this is exactly how I dreamed of dying. I just wanted to be at home watching Netflix, but this is **fine**. _

Well, what could you say?

You panicked. Within seconds, tears begin streaming down your cheeks, the combination of pain and anxiety too much for you to keep a level-head. Not your best moment, but it proved to be effective. He releases you, a look of surprise on his face as he backs up at the sudden outburst.

"Woah there──what did you do?" Another man appears, a dwarf; he's speaking English which was a good sign. Your vision was too blurry to get a good look at him, but you're just glad you're not alone anymore. You don't even have to fake anything at this point, those were real tears. 

"A misunderstanding," the elf states simply, in English this time. This guy was an absolute bastard wasn't he.

You wipe the tears away with one hand, saying nothing for fear of bumbling like an idiot. You're embarrassed enough as it is, no need to make yourself look any stupider. 

The shorter man looks between you both with a raised brow. He can totally smell bullshit. "Riiiight....." He looks up at your pitiful form sympathetically. "You look like you need a drink kid, I know just the place." 

You practically jump at the opportunity to escape, but of course, Fen'Harel just has to intrude. "We have important matters to discuss Master Tethras. You will have to excuse us." 

The dwarf merely shrugs noncommittally, "Lighten up Chuckles, there's plenty of time to talk later." He turns his attention towards you, "What do you say kid?"

You didn't have to be told twice, "Yes _please_." What were you──eight?

You completely avoid the elf's scorching gaze and eagerly shuffle over to the dwarf's side.

He clasps his hands together, "Well that settles that, if you need us, you know where we'll be!" And he leads you away with such finesse you think that it did actual damage to the elf's psyche. You definitely don't look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mood for this chapter.  
>   
> Solas is scared of Asian people, I don't know what to tell you fam....also I'm considering him, Cullen or Iron Bull as romance options ahsjkldg


	4. Aggression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are too many god damn people here.

The inn was full with workers and townsfolk having warm meals, lounging about and gossiping about recent events. You haven't particularly been paying attention to much, the adrenaline rush from earlier still fresh, your head and chest pounding from anxiety. The good news was that you weren't crying anymore; the bad news was that your eyes were probably red and puffy. The dwarf had introduced himself as Varric Tethras on the way here, and that was really all you heard. You were rather preoccupied worrying about Fen'Harel to be fair.

Drinks and bowls of soup were served, but you hadn't touched any of it. Your hands were clasped together, knuckles white while you one of your legs shook uncontrollably. Your eyes darted around the room, worried the elf might decide to actually join you. Varric eyes you for a moment, silently observing your posture as he took a slow sip from his tankard.

"Come on kid, you gotta relax. You're probably starving, I can hear your stomach growling from here."

You snap back to attention, blinking obliviously at your companion before glancing downwards at the table. You were hungry, but you weren't sure you could stomach anything at the moment. But to appease him, you gingerly grab the tankard of....what was it─alcohol? Ale or mead probably, that's what people always drink in the movies. You pull it a bit closer, but don't make a move to drink; the last time you had a drink was during your 21st birthday and all you really remember was getting black out drunk. It sucked.

"I don't um...have any money to pay for this," you say quietly, fingers drumming away nervously . 

He waves a nonchalant hand, "Don't worry about it, it's on me so you should get your fill." He raises his tankard towards you with a grin. You just blink. After a solid few seconds, he shrugs and takes another gulp of ale. 

It only clicks afterwards──it was a toast, you were suppose to do the thing── _I'm such an idiot, oh my god. Micah **please**. _

Your cheeks flush red in embarrassment and you immediately pull the tankard to your lips to hide your shame. You down it in one go and regret everything. 

A low whistle, "Didn't think you had it in you kid, not bad."

You definitely did **not** have it in you. Your eyes water, your nostrils burn and you're doing everything in your power to not vomit. Ah yes, this was why you hated drinking. You keep the tankard up to shield yourself from judgement, but you knew that _he_ knew you were suffering. 

The dwarf chuckles and mimics you, downing his own drink with ease before slamming the tankard onto the table in satisfaction. 

After the annoying buzzing in your head had vanished, you grudgingly set down yours as well, lips pulled into a thin line in absolute _disgust_. _Does this count as peer pressure? Remember kids, peer pressure is bad._ You almost wished Geldauran would've said something so you wouldn't feel as crazy talking to yourself. You blink away the tears in your eyes and sniff. 

"I've got it!" Varric suddenly exclaims, looking all too proud of himself.

You almost jump out of your seat, brows furrowed in confusion. "G-Got what?"

"Chomper!" 

"Chomper?"

He suddenly points at your face. You're only more confused. "I don't─I don't get it."

"It's because of your chompers, come on, work with me here kid." He pulls his lips back into a big toothy grin and points at them, staring at you expectantly. This explains nothing.

You mirror his movements, smiling awkwardly as you go to push your lips into a just as big grin. You're greeted with pain. 

"Ow─shit!" You yelp, pulling your hands back and realize there's a little prick of blood on both ends of your fingers. 

Varric was just staring at you like you were an absolute buffoon; he looks as confused as you felt. "Maybe we should lay off the drinks huh?" His tone is playful, but he's watching you with hawk eyes. 

You quickly rub the blood away on your hoodie and go to touch your mouth again because what the _fuck_. 

Slowly, you trace one end of your lip towards the middle only to have it be stopped by a large protruding tooth. _What._ You do the same to the other side. Where your canines were lie large, sharp fangs. They definitely weren't like that yesterday. Your brows furrow in bewilderment as you trace the rest of your teeth gently, in case they too were pointed. It seems only your canines, both top and bottom grew in size, just barely poking out from beneath your lips. How did you not notice?

_Like today couldn't get any weirder...._

You realize Varric's still watching you, and you know that you're going to have to play it off because you were looking mighty suspicious at the moment.

"I...forgot about those ha ha...." _Smooth Micah. Smooth._

If he's suspicious at all, he sure doesn't look it as he is the epitome of laid back and casual. "You all got chompers back home or is it just you?"

What should you even say? He'd probably know you were lying, but also, would it be more suspicious if you said no? You were not prepared for this turn of events. _So much for laying low._

You smile almost timidly in response; now that you're aware of the fangs, you can't help but worry you might bite yourself on accident. "Y-Yeah, we're all born with them?" _Gotta sell it._ "It's weird that none of you have um...fangs. Makes it easier to....eat things ya know?" 

Overcompensating really wasn't helping. _Someone kill me, I'm the worst liar._

The dwarf nods slowly, "Uh huh..." He seems to accept the answer for the most part. He leans forward, arms propped onto the table looking most attentive. "So tell me, where ya from? You're definitely not from around here, but your accent sounds...familiar─I suppose is one way to put it. Know people from Orzammar?"

_Ah shit, what should I say?_

"Well...." You drawl deliberately, your brain rushing to create lies and failing. Luckily for you, someone intrudes _loudly._

"Varric! Thank the Creators!" 

It's an elf──great another one. He's rather small and lanky, when you compare him to Fen'Harel at least; he's probably around your height and even you were on the shorter side. His skin was dark, but his messy hair was almost a light grey-ish tan color in comparison despite his age. His eyes were _huge,_ bright green, and he had tattoos on his face. He was....well for lack of a better word, pretty. 

"Ah, the man of the hour. What can I help you with oh mighty Herald." Varric mocks a bow.

_Wait, didn't someone say this Herald guy was like a savior or something?_

"Please don't," he sighs, plopping down in an empty seat feigning absolute exhaustion. "At this point, I think I should just change my name to Herald." He sighs dramatically. 

Varric shrugs, grinning playfully. "Doesn't exactly have the same kick as Mahanon, but I wholeheartedly support your dreams."

"Glad to know I have such a supportive friend in these trying times." The elf gives him a friendly nudge in the shoulder, lips upturned. 

You glance at the two quietly, wondering whether or not you should leave. The last person you would want to get to know was the guy that's suppose to save the world─or whatever it was he's saving. You slowly get to your feet, hoping to make a quick escape. "Well, I'm just gonna go...." You murmur eloquently. 

Herald─or Mahanon rather─jumps to his feet, startling the life out of you. "Oh wait! You don't have to leave! We haven't properly been introduced!"

But you're already out the door, practically sprinting away like your life depended on it. Just as the door shuts, you manage to catch a distant, "What'd I do?"

In hindsight, you realize you couldn't have looked more suspicious if you tried. _I should just go hide somewhere, yeah that sounds like a plan._ Should you go back to the tents? Probably a good idea, but you still had no idea where anything was.

You realize a few people were giving you funny looks, and you can't help but pull your hood up, shuffling away self-consciously. You can only hope no one else was looking to have a fun conversation with you because you were _not_ in the mood. Keeping your head down in an attempt to look smaller, you wander around for a bit. You don't know the layout of the town, but it was crowded enough that you probably didn't have to worry about someone ~~like Fen'Harel~~ causing a scene. He wouldn't dare...right? 

_It's cold as ball, no wonder everyone looks so pissed._

This would be a convenient time to have magic wouldn't it? Just a little bit of warmth would do wonders. You pull the blanket in tighter, but it's so thin it might as well not be there. What should your number one priority even be? Getting warm or getting the hell out of there? You rub your eyes wearily, sighing deeply at your predicament, the buzzing in your head doing little to help. _I shouldn't have drank that, I really shouldn't have._ At the very least a pint of alcohol dampened the pain enough for you to momentarily forget it ever existed. The chill was a different matter entirely. You quicken your pace and decide that leaving was the right thing to do. It was right _right_? Of course it was. You spot the gates and with some surprising resolution, march on to make your great escape. You could figure the rest out later. No more elves, no more dwarves, no more talk about whatever crazy shit was going down──it's time to peace the fuck _out_.

"Wait," a voice calls in elven. Of course, it was none other than the Wolf, you don't even have to look. Your pace quickens as he approaches from behind.

His damn legs were so long that he'd already caught up to you within seconds. You stare straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge his presence, the gates so close yet so far. 

A firm hand grasps your shoulder, ushering you in another direction. Thankfully, he's gripping your uninjured side so you weren't afraid to pull away, shooting a small glare at the elf. Despite your fear, there's a rush of anger that doesn't seem entirely your own. It feels almost....primal.

"What do you want, _Chuckles_?" You grunt; much to your own surprise. 

He easily keeps in stride and proceeds to walk on your right unfazed. With a quick glance, you notice the clench of his jaw despite his calm expression. _Can't you just leave already? Ugh._

Fen'Harel continues speaking in elvish, low enough for only you to hear. "We must speak in private. Now."

You roll your eyes and scrunch your red nose in irritation. Pretending seemed to work well enough before─hell, maybe somebody will come to your rescue again.

"I literally have no idea what you're saying so leave me alone." You manage to keep your voice steady, the bite still there.

There's a brief moment of silence before he almost seems to huff in annoyance; you can feel his eyes boring into the side of your head. "I apologize for my behavior earlier, may we speak in private?" He asks in English this time. He's changed his tone completely. _Totally not suspicious wolf man._

You curse internally, the need to accept his apology at the tip of your tongue; a hard habit to break. "It's....fine. What do you want? I'd rather **not** talk to you alone." To be fair, a tall, creepy bald elf following you around would make anyone uncomfortable. 

"I mistook you for someone else, hence my hostility." He pauses, gauging your reaction. You say nothing, holding back a scoff and only shrug noncommittally. He seemed to realize you'd only talk to him in the crowd, and lets it be. "My name is Solas, and you are?"

_That's way easier to say than Fen'Harel. Oh wait─shit, should I say something? I shouldn't say anything. Yeah, I won't say anything. He doesn't need to know who I am._

"I'm Micah." _Fuck._

He considers this with a nod. "Micah...an unusual name."

"Solas is pretty weird too wise guy." You're not sure where this sass is coming from, but it's sure to bite you in the ass later. You don't bother to check for his reaction; you're pretty sure he wanted to kill you anyway.

"It is Elven in origin. You do not seem particularly...comfortable, around my kind." You definitely shoot him a look of _you for real bro?_

" _You_ in particular, but go off I guess." He seems mildly perturbed by your choice of words. _Did I really say 'go off' to a fantasy elf man? Incredible._

"I realize that I did not leave the best impression. It was a mistake, in hindsight." This time you definitely scoff. 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. _Okay_."

An awkward silence ensues and you hope that he feels it. And finally you were at the gates. A sense of relief washes over you, eager to get away from this man. _Fuck this small talk, I'm outtie._

Clapping your hands together as if to adjourn a meeting, you turn towards _Solas_. "Well then, I'm just gonna go now."

His eyes dart across your form for a moment, expression unreadable. "Shall I escort you?"

"Hell no." _That came out a bit aggressive._

He doesn't even bat an eye. "I insist."

"No thanks."

"You are injured, it's unsafe to travel alone."

"I'm fine, thanks." _Go **away**. _

And now he's standing in front of you, blocking your escape. _I swear to God I'm gonna kick you in the dick._ You stare at him tiredly, blinking slowly as if to silently ask him to move.

He then leans forward, face inches away from yours as he hisses into your ear, "Enough games. We will speak _now_."

The moment your eyes make eye contact, your confidence vanishes; your stomach drops and you feel _fear_. You completely freeze, breath hitched in your throat. The air around you suddenly feels suffocating, almost electric, trying to imprison you. The panic begins to settle in.

_What do I do─what do I do?! Fuck!_

And as if heaven personally sent you a blessing, you finally hear that familiar, low growl in the back of your mind.

_"He will not speak to us that way. **You** will not allow him to speak to us like **vermin**."_

_I won't._

Your fear is suddenly replaced with burning rage, and you grit your teeth, baring your fangs. Your hands make contact with his chest, shoving him back with strength you didn't know you had. Solas stumbles back a few feet, nearly losing his footing, eyes wide in outrage. There were definitely people staring now.

"Stay the **fuck** away from me asshole," you snarl, the anger overwhelming all your senses like a thick fog. 

_"We could kill him right now."_

_Yeah....we could......_

_"We **should.** "_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story! It's really motivating me to keep writing! Sorry if the dialogue comes out weird, I was struggling with it RIP.  
> Geldauran and Solas back at it again with their bullshit.  
> 


	5. Hatred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes from bad to worse.
> 
> tw: mention of transphobia and sexism ── it's only in the intro so you can skip to the first divider if you don't want to read it!

You're not sure why you're remembering this now, this repressed memory. You were certain you had buried your past, but here it was, clear as day, reminding you that you were nothing more than a _disappointment._

You can hear the sound of your parent's voices, screaming at the failure they've created. Your mom's disgusted voice, both sobbing and shrieking all at once, rejecting who you _claimed_ you were. She didn't raise you to be...wrong. She raised you to be just like her─to be _perfect_ and _pure_. And then there was your dad's anger, his nails digging into your shoulders, shaking you as if it would remind you of who they wanted you to be. What you were _supposed_ to be.

_Just a girl._

Silly isn't it? To get worked up over something so...insignificant?

It was nothing to you, but everything to them. It defined your...worth.

How selfish were you to think only of yourself, when they had sacrificed so much to bring you into this world? To provide for all of your needs as a parent should? They were suppose to love you _unconditionally,_ the way they expected you to love them back.

But then you went and decided that you were tired of pretending, of playing along. Of being their _perfect daughter._

How _dare_ you even consider it? To try and be comfortable in your own skin? To try and find yourself?

You thought that maybe, just maybe, they could understand. They loved you didn't they? 

Of course it was all talk. You should've known.

How stupid could you possibly be?

Did you really think they could understand?

Did you really think they cared about what _you_ wanted?

Did _anyone_ care about what you wanted?

Maybe you brought this onto yourself. What did you even want in the first place?

What were you hoping to achieve?

Deep down you knew.

But you buried it.

Deep...

_Deep..._

**_Down..._ **

Until now.

* * *

The world is red, almost as if a filter was thrown over it, your ears ringing so loudly you can barely hear your own thoughts. Your head throbs with every emotion imaginable─fear, anger, sorrow, excitement........relief? For a moment, you hear everyone who has ever let you down, scream at you in rage, but eventually that too falls on deaf ears.

_"That's right, make him suffer."_

Your grip tightens in response, nails digging into Solas' throat, strangling him. You barely register your body moving on it's own, you were on top of him in a blink of an eye. Were you always this fast? This strong?

His hands desperately tear at yours, gasping for breath, grey eyes wide in shock and with what almost looks like _fear_. He's been antagonizing you all day; he should have seen this coming from a mile away. It's what he **deserves**. 

_Just die already._

All you feel is rage...hatred...and even _pain._ And yet, this is......cathartic. You've never been a violent person, but this feels so natural. So _right_. As if this is the only solution that will satisfy you _both._

There is movement on either side of you, multiple hands trying to pull you off of him, doing nothing but causing you to dig deeper into this bastard's skin with a vice-like grip. Your nails finally pierce through as a result, trickles of blood beginning to leak from the wounds. You want him to feel the pain, you want him to suffer. ~~Like you are.~~ The smell of iron fills your nostrils and all your senses almost seem to heighten. Your heartbeat quickens and it feels like you're.....salivating....like a hungry _animal._

"Shit─Micah stop!" Varric perhaps? It didn't matter.

_I could break his neck. I could rip it right off._

Geldauran's cruel laughter echoes in the recesses of your mind, and you can feel your lips pull wide into a maniacal grin, his glee on full display. It was a strange feeling being both in control and out all at once, shared emotions clashing and merging to become one──his rage only fueling your bout of internal hatred. It was as if everything you had buried deep within you was suddenly being released at once. And it feels _incredible._

You pay no mind to the tingling sensation at your fingertips as you lean in close, dark eyes narrowing. For a moment you could have sworn his own eyes had a slight glow to them, but it was of little consequence. You were far more concerned with the different ways you could tear his throat out. Elvish slips off your tongue with ease as you feel Geldauran push his will through you. "Where are your claws now, treacherous _wolf_ _?"_

And suddenly that tingling becomes electric, shooting up your arms like a current, feeling as if it's tearing through every vein in your body and igniting the burns you had all but forgotten. You inhale sharply, releasing your hold, giving Solas the opportunity to shove you off of him just as someone grabs you from behind. 

_It hurts─ **it hurts!**_

You can hear other voices yelling, but it's all but muffled by the agonizing pain shooting through your body, a painful ringing filling your ears. A scream is lodged in your throat as you grit your teeth, eyes squeezing shut as sparks of hot white pain appear in your vision. Your legs give out as you're dragged away to who knows where. You had thought you'd felt pain when you had woken up with those burns, but this─this was far worse than anything you could have imagined. 

_"What are you doing?! Don't let him get away!"_

_It hurts, I──_

_"Pathetic! It's just a bit of pain! Kill him now!"_

_I can't!_

_"Lend me your body! You will not let us fail!"_

You exhale sharply and collapse, but instead of hitting the ground, there's just nothing. The pain vanishes, just like that and for a split second, an emptiness overcomes you. Like you were floating in a void.

Your eyes open. 

It's this feeling again, that feeling of being a passenger in your own body as you watch _him_ take control of you. But this time you're eerily calm, the pain gone, the fear of injury nonexistent. You're relieved that you're no longer in control and that, in a way, you were no longer _responsible_ for your actions. 

It's a....nice....feeling.

You sigh, though you find that you don't need to breathe in this state. Your eyes shut as you relish in a moment of absolute peace. This wasn't so bad after all. How easy it was to complete block out the world. Being a spirit─or whatever this form was called─wasn't entirely awful after all.

When you finally reopen your eyes, the world is no longer red. Your vision is clear, but you notice something strange. The air looks....unusual. Like it has a solid form as it twists and turns like a current around certain people. Solas in particular─the air around him seems almost charged, vibrating intensely almost overwhelming the auras of everyone near him. But no one seems to notice. He watches you from a distance holding his staff close to him, eyes narrowed as others rush to his aid, the Herald and Varric included. The Herald also has a strange aura about him, chaotic and bright─uncomfortable to look at really. But you manage to look away, deciding to watch whatever events were going to unfold. It takes you a moment to realize that you were free to look wherever you wanted to, not just from your the eyes of your physical form. Ah yes, more options to not be accountable for what was to come. 

Geldauran regains his footing and digs his feet into the ground, pulling whoever had restrained you to a stop.

"What do you think you're─agh!" Before the man can finish, he is thrown into the crowd with ease like a rag doll. Nothing more than a mere ant. He crashes into the crowd, sending a few people to the ground and others begin to scatter as guards approach. You hear the sound of swords being drawn, and for a moment you're worried for the both of you, but his overwhelming confidence sates it immediately. 

"Anyone who does not wish to die would do well to stay out of my way." The cruelty in your voice throws you off, but you remind yourself that it's _not_ you. Not really anyway. You can feel his excitement flowing through your entire being, the anticipation for his revenge palpable. He was all too eager to have blood, and blood he would have. Seeing that eager grin on your own face sent a chill straight down your spine. He clenches his fists a few times, the popping of your knuckles audible. Were your nails always this long and....pointed?

"Alright kid, clearly you've had too much to drink, why don't we just calm down and talk about this?" Varric approaches with that casual demeanor of his, hands raised in a nonthreatening manner, but even then you can hear a bit of caution in his voice. He stops in place when he takes one look into your eyes and seems to almost recognize that you weren't....right. And then he is nearly toppled over by a soldier with short black hair, and a scar on her cheek. Her brows are furrowed with irritation as she draws her sword, and the soldiers react in kind as they flank her. In any other instance, you would have thought she looked like a badass fantasy novel protagonist. 

"You will stand down now, this is no place for personal squabbles!" She whips her head to Solas with an accusatory stare. He manages to remain absolutely stoic. "What is the meaning of this?!"

Geldauran rolls his eyes. You almost can't believe he did that. _Mood though....._

He smirks in amusement and shrugs as he speaks in Elven. "So these are the humans you hide behind old friend?" He glances at Solas and scoffs, "Have you become a mere sheep? Seems the wolf has lost his claws." 

Solas' aura spikes abruptly at the insult, though in person, he is still as a statue. You can see his knuckles turning white from here. _Yeah I'm stressed out too bro._

The woman stomps forward, seeing this as an act of defiance, but doesn't seem to understand what had been said. "Apprehend her and─"

Geldauran raises a finger to his lips and shushes her like a child, "I was not speaking to you. Do stay quiet."

She looks momentarily flabbergasted, and the moment she looks like she's about to continue, he waves a dismissive hand, a spark of purple dancing along his fingers. 

"She's an apostate! Get back─"

The spark becomes a bolt, shooting from his hand into the woman, drawing a terrible cry of pain from her as she falls to her knees. You can't help but wince at the sight.

"Cassandra!"

No sooner does she fall, does lightning shoot from her crumpled form into nearly everyone in the vicinity. 

The area flashes bright purple as sparks of vivid light jump from person to person like a chain, bodies collapsing and wreathing in pain. Within seconds, every person within a 30 foot radius is on the ground heaving in agony. 

To be completely honest....it was fucking cool. It takes you a full 5 seconds to remember that these were real people suffering. Though it's almost hard to believe considering the circumstances.

_Did you **have** to do that?_

_"They still breathe do they not? I believe that to be quite merciful."_

_I mean...._

You have a moments pause as you look over the bodies twitching in pain, clutching their forms as residual magical sparks off of them. It did not look like a good time...but at least it wasn't you. 

_Can you just kill him and get this over with?_

_"Yes, yes. Just having a bit of fun first."_

_Fine, just don't get me like blown up or anyth──_

The wind is suddenly knocked out of the both of you at once as there is a burst of white light, and suddenly you feel like you are physically ripped away from your body. Where before you were tethered to your physical form, just drifting along for the ride, now it felt as if a gust of wind could send you flying at any moment. You shake your head to gather yourself.

_What the fuck was that?!_

You look at your body in confusion, feeling as if there's a great distance despite it being right in front of you. Geldauran turns to look at you with a raised brow, equally baffled─wait, he's looking at you?

You stare at one another bewildered. He cocks his head to one side and says loud enough, just for you to hear, "Our bond has been broken, I can no longer hear you." And then he smirks.

A sense of dread washes over you.

"What is that?!"

"A demon! Soldiers, at the ready!"

You whip around and see a man with blond hair, decked in armor and fur. The light shimmers and dissipates near him, did he cast some sort of spell on you? Did he do this? You realize those who are standing are looking between you and Geldauran now.

You look at your hands, hoping to see _your_ hands, but instead of seeing tan skin, you're quite literally glowing. You look down at yourself and your entire form is some sort of glowing humanoid specter. _Fuck! What the fuck!_ Again you try to call out to him, but your voice is nonexistent. You can feel the panic begin to overwhelm you.

"Well, well, this has taken an interesting turn. Now there is nothing holding me back." Geldauran chuckles with glee, the air around him swirling wildly, and what looks like steam begins to leave his skin. _Don't say that with my fucking face asshole!_

You turn where you remember Solas to be. He holds is staff defensively and you can see the swirl of his aura as he begins to summon some sort of magic. Beside him you see the Herald and Varric looking at each other with concern, prepared to defend themselves as well. Those who were struck with lightning remain on the ground, some being dragged away by civilians to safety. You try and wave your hands, trying to say no, and become more frantic when there is still silence. You turn back to Geldauran and shake your head pleadingly. Whatever he was about to do wasn't going to be good. 

He only gives you a look of pity. "Perhaps we will find you a new body, if that form lasts long enough that is. But for now enjoy the show." You are practically _vibrating_ with anger.

The man with blond hair goes in with a swing, face full of fury, and strikes with a downward slash─only to have it be caught in Geldauran's hand. The blade cuts deep, blood beginning to pour from the wound, but still, he holds fast. Giving the man a once over, Geldauran tuts and shakes his head like he was chastising a child. "Consider your life a favor repaid, human." He clenches the blade until it shatters in his fist, causing the man to stumble forward. With his other hand, he reaches up, taking hold of the blond's head and slams him into the ground. He does not get back up. 

"Help the Commander! Men, forward!" One of the nearby soldiers cry as a chorus of men and women join the charge charge.

You were at an absolute fucking loss. Here this asshole was wreaking absolute havoc in your body, and now you're a god damn _ghost_.

_I knew I shouldn't have listened to him! Fuck me! I'm a fuckin' idiot!_

Unsure of what to even do in this wisp-like form, you attempt to move away from the battle. You jump as a sword slices through your form, but it does just that, as if you weren't even there. You really were a ghost. The soldier looks as baffled as you felt. No time to worry about it, you continue floating by, going through a few people with no issue. You turn your head to Geldauran to see what that _fucker_ is doing, and at this point, he is completely obscured by steam and swirling gusts of wind. The air simmers as if it's being boiled.

_I swear to god if he's going to turn into a fucking dragon──_

You don't finish the thought as a green light fills the area, flashing so brightly that you swear you feel pain. And then you lose consciousness. 

* * *

You jolt awake, the passage of time unknown to you. But you are most assuredly no longer in town. Hell...where even were you right now? 

The sky was dark, but there was no moonlight, heavy black clouds obscuring it as rain poured. You jump at the sound of thunder, and for a moment you begin to panic at the thought of being back in the Abyss. But the area is still...visible. A forest maybe? No snow, so you must be long gone from the mountains.

_Fuck─where the fuck is Geldauran? What the fuck happened? Where the fuck am I? Am I still─?_

You quickly look down at yourself and have your hopes crushed. Yes, you were still a glowing specter. But far dimmer now. If you weren't a ghost, you sure as hell look like one.

_I'm a ghost. I'm a goddamn ghost. Oh my god, I'm dead. I'm never getting home. Is this what purgatory feels like?_

At the very least, you're glad that you don't need to breathe because you'd be hyperventilating if that were the case.

So now _what?_ Now you were _really_ alone. No one's going to want to talk to a ghost. Shit, who even knows if there are people around for miles.

You tremble as despair fills your senses. _What have I done?_

You look up at the sky, the rain continuing to pour, and though it passes through you, you feel cold. And you just sit there, hoping to somehow just disappear into the nether.

But then you hear a soft, boyish voice from behind you, cutting through the harshness of the thunder and wind.

"I can hear you. I can help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much trouble writing this chapter, I can't write battle scenes to save my life.  
> I'm underlining anything that is spoken in elven now because I'm lazy. Geldauran will still be talking in quoted italics when he's speaking in Micah's head, but he is still talking in Elvish. It makes it easier for me to read tbh. 
> 
> I cannot overstate how much of the story I had to change because of this one chapter. EVERYONE WANTED A FIGHT, I GIVE YOU FIGHT, EAT WELL. How the turn tables.... This is as good of a fight as I can get without having Solas go sicko mode this early. I might leave more story choices open in the future though so keep an eye out. Also, Cullen used Spell Purge. I'm assuming it works the same way as Dispel, but I could be wrong. Not that it matters since I make the rules. I have never played a Templar in my life.


End file.
